E's Unconventional Buffy Shipping - Xander

Xander: "Hey ladies, what's" (Noticing the various degrees of nudity and snuggling in the room) "up?"

Willow: (Looking up) "Xander!"

Faith: "Mmm, back for another taste, I see..." (Begins moving towards him)

Xander: "Uh oh..." (Notices Buffy) "Oh, thank God... Buffy, you have to help me..."

Buffy: (smiling preditorilly) "Sure Xander... With what?"

Xander: "Oh, God..."

Anya: "Stop it, ladies.."

Xander: "Anya, you can't fight them... We've got to escape... find Giles..."

Anya: "You just missed him... And why should we leave? We have something to do, here."

Xander: "We do? But..."

Anya: "We've been doing shipping overviews..."

Xander: "Doing what?!!"

Anya: "..And it's your turn. Don't worry, you've been orgasm friends with everyone in this room. You'll remember, shortly..."

Xander: (Noticing Tara) "Um, everyone?!!! How?!!!"

Harmony: "Fanfic, sweetie..."

Xander: "Oh... Um... Can this possibly get scarier?"

Dru: "Hellooooo!"

Anya: "And that's just the beginning... Wait 'til we get to the slash fic."

Xander: (Looking warily at Faith) "Um, that doesn't involve knives, does it?"

Anya: "You'll see...

Title: Unconventional Xander Shipping, An Overview

Writer: E

E-mail: ebailey140@aol.com"

Xander: "Um, Anya... What are you talking about?"

Anya: "Quiet! You'll miss the formalities... Where was I?"

Buffy: "You'd just done e-mail."

Anya: "Oh...

Notes: Continuing the Unconventional Shipping series, exploring various orgasm relationships in Buffy fanfic. This one follows the two Buffy ones, the Willow one, the two Faith ones, the Cordy one, and the Giles one.

Spoilers: Given the subject, you can guess.

Disclaimer: E doesn't own us, as much as he'd like to. That pleasure belongs to Joss and the corporations that put up the money.

Archiving: Sure, if you want. Just perform the proper rituals by sending E an e-mail."

Yes, we're back to look at still more unconventional shipping in BuffyFic, this time focusing on Xander Harris, the "normal one" among the Scoobs...

Xander: "Where's that voice coming from?"

Cordy: "That's who's guiding your destiny at the moment, so be nice to him."

Thank you. As usual, we'll start with the conventional ships. The first one was with his one time arch enemy turned girlfriend, Cordelia...

Buffy: "And to think, we used to think THAT was weird..."

Problem was, Xander finally noticed Willow during all this time. That led to a series of flukes, finally caught by their significant others. This killed the X/C romance, but they still have feelings for each other...

Cordy: "Long term insanity..."

Dru: "Oh yes... It's beautiful..."

...And a wide fan base, who maintain the romance in fic. The X/W moment was one some had been waiting since the beginning of the series for. Willow, at the beginning of the series, had a years long crush on her best friend...

Buffy: "And I felt the same way about her, but we'd never tell each other..."

No, no, the OTHER best friend...

Buffy: "Oh, sorry..."

Willow: "It does get confusing..."

...So a lot of writers would get them together. On the show, it didn't last, as Willow truly loved Oz, but that didn't stop the X/W shippers, who insist they belong together. After that, Xander moped around for a bit, and had his first sexual experience, with Faith, the, um, rather intense Slayer.

Xander: "I'll say..."

Forgetting safewords, she nearly killed him later....

Faith: "Safewords are for wusses..."

Following that trauma, he was asked to the Prom by ex-vengeance demon, Anya. This unlikely pairing inspired a lot of fic, even before it became a conventional relationship. However, to many writers, there has been one woman he truly loves above all else...

Cordy: "Gee, can't imagine why they'd think that... I mean, he just goes on about her all the time..."

Anya: "He yelled her name while orgasming, once. I slapped him, but I think that just turned him on, more..."

Xander/Buffy...

The idea here is that Xander is Buffy's true love, but she doesn't realize it yet. The X/B shipper argues that they were meant for each other from the moment he first saw her while skateboarding, and ran into a stairrail...

Harmony: "Love hurts."

Xander is Buffy's White Knight, as Angel put it. He's always taken on overwhelming odds for her. He always worries about her mental state, such as when she was about to confront Faith...

Cordy: "Can't imagine why..."

While Buffy only sees Xander as a friend, supposedly, the X/B shipper has noticed she sometimes responds. They also note how one night stand Parker bore a strong resemblance to Xander...

Buffy: "Don't remind me.."

But it all comes down to mutual love and loyalty... Plus, well, Xander's Slayer fetish, leading naturally to...

Xander/Faith...

This sometimes gets a bit twisted...

Buffy: "How could that possible be?"

...Though sometimes it's tender and loving. Basically, Xander gets past Faith's personal demons and reaches her. Often, it turns into a threesome with Buffy...

Buffy: "Hey, we share everything..."

Faith: "And everyone..."

There's also the idea that Xander would be great with a witch (Besides Willow)...

Xander/Amy...

Willow: "If we can ever get her de-ratted, that could work..."

Much of this goes back to the sparkage from when Xander forced Amy to cast that love spell on Cordy, which affected every woman in Sunnydale EXCEPT Cordy. This included...

Xander/Jenny...

Buffy: "Well, given that he's almost as horny as a Slayer, and Jenny was a hottie..."

Another situation Xander was in in that episode led to...

Xander/Dru...

Dru: "I love my kitten..."

The idea here being that Dru maintained her interest after the spell wore off, and the reason she repeatedly dumped Spike was her refusal to give her Xander. Another one that came from that episode, and has been helped along by the fourth season finale, is that Buffy isn't the only one in the family with a taste for the Zeppo...

Xander/Joyce...

Buffy: "Grumble..."

It's sort of a Graduate theme. Then, there's another old childhood friend...

Willow: "Friend?"

Xander/Harmony...

Buffy: "What was up with that slap fight in The Initiative? You looked like you were continuing a fight from your playground days."

Cordy: "They were. They were really sweet on each other."

Xander: "We were not!!!"

Harmony: "Yeah!!! I hated him!!! Dorky guy..."

Xander: "Airhead!"

Harmony: "Jerk!"

Willow: "I see what you mean..."

Now, we'll get into the less likely shippings...

Buffy: "LESS?!!!"

...Starting with the ever popular...

Xander/Angel...

Xander: "Dead boy?!!! I HATE him!!!"

Buffy: "Xander, you should have told me... We could have come up with something..."

The idea behind X/A fic is that all that hostility is masking a deep attraction. Continuing the vamp theme, there's...

Xander/Spike...

Buffy: "Y'know, we share Faith and Dru, so why do you always object to me being with Angel and Spike?"

This is based on the whole "nummy treat" conversation. But why leave it at four vamps?...

Xander/Darla...

Dru: "She can't have my kitten..."

This is based on her getting him before Buffy could rescue him. Getting away from vampires, we have...

Xander/Giles...

Cordy: "What's that based on?!!"

Well, Giles told Xander he'd keep his secret about remembering his hyena possession...

Cordy: "And?..."

And... Well... X/G shippers just like them as a couple. There's also...

Xander/Oz...

This is based on them, well, bonding. Then, because of what Xander said the first time he saw the Initiative HQ...

Xander/Riley...

Buffy: "Well, at least you were willing to share in that case..."

To continue Xander's tendency to take what's Willow's, we have...

Xander/Tara...

Buffy: "Hmm, OK, if we can make clearly straight characters gay, why not?"

In X/T fic, either they knew each other during his summer in Oxnard, or they find comfort in each other after being dumped by their lovers. Finally, we have...

Xander/Kate...

Willow: "That cop?"

Cordy: "She's getting to be a real fic slut, isn't she?"

Faith: "So, how's Xander not been shipped with Lindsey, yet?"

Xander: "Is she cute?"

Willow: "I think you should forget about it. Besides, now that I know you're sleeping with my girlfriend... (Looks around) ...girlfriends... I think we can keep your mind off lawyers..."

Faith: "I love it when she does that... Where'd she get that?"

Buffy: "That vamp version of her. She's loosened up since..."

Xander: (Noticing the roomfull of women advancing on him) "I'm gonna die..."

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