E's Unconventional Buffy Shipping - Overview Part 2

Title: Unconventional Buffy Shipping, An Overview Part 2

Writer: E Email: ebailey140@aol.com

Disclaimer: Don't own any of these people, Joss and some corporations do.

Archiving: Sure, just let me know

Faith: "Mmmm... nd... kfee"

Cordy: "What?"

Faith: "Need coffee.."

Willow: "Well, that's what you get for partying all night."

Cordy: "There's a pot made. Um, you're supposed to use a cup... GOD!!! You're worse than Buffy first thing in the morning!"

Faith: (Glares at Cordy)

Willow: "Um, I don't mean to complain, but isn't it my turn? We're still on Buffy shipping..."

Yes, well, it's been brought to my attention that I forgot a ship... Well, actually, I didn't know about it...

Willow: "Someone's been a slacker..."

...so I thought I'd take the opportunity to cover all bases.

Willow: "Oh. OK, then."

Dru: "There are so many possibilities... I can see them... They make me quiver..."

Willow: "Hey! What's Crazy Evil Vamp Girl doing in the mix?!!"

Well, she should have been in on the first one...

Dru: "I was lost, but now I'm found..."

Cordy: "Please don't start singing."

Faith: "Yeah, if I wanna hear incoherent babble I'll talk to Red, here"

Willow: "I do not babble incoherently! My babble is very coherent."

Buffy: "You're cute when you babble."

Willow: "Buffy!!!!"

Faith: "Hey, girlfriend!"

Cordy: "When are you going to come back to visit?"

Dru: "You are the sun to my moon..."

Faith: "Yeah, I'll show you some sun..."

Dru: "YOU!!!! You would take her from me!!! You can see her in the sun..."

Tara: "Um... What's going on?"

Buffy: "They're just carrying on an arguement from a fic... It gets weird, sometimes..."

Willow: "Um, Tara, seeing you gives me a happy, but... well... What are you doing here?"

We'll get into that in a bit, but first, the shipping I'd missed. It's a very new one. For a while they were just slashing him with Angel...

Buffy: "Because no other woman could possible follow me..."

Buffy/Lindsey...

Willow: (pause) "Who?!!"

Cordy: "Lawyer guy.."

Faith: "Sleazeball.."

Cordy: "But a hottie, so we're all getting shipped with him."

Willow: "Even those of us who've never met him?"

Yes. The idea behind B/L shipping is Lindsey is torn between the light and dark...

Cordy: "Didn't seem too torn in the season finale..."

...and Buffy brings him to the side of light, through her redeeming love, or something like that...

Willow: "She does that a lot."

Buffy: "Yeah, force of habit..."

Willow: "You really should break that one."

Faith: "And you wouldn't have any ulterior motives, there..."

Cordy: "Oh yeah, like she's Miss Perfect..."

Faith: "So, how's Lindsey doing?"

Cordy: "Not to well. Angel chopped off his hand."

Faith: "Wicked painful..."

Dru: "My Angel took his hand... My Slayer likes hands..."

Cordy: "Oh, yeah..."

Faith: "Yeah, B taught me to appreciate foreplay..."

Buffy: "Well, you were always so...Get down to business, y'know? One night she just grabbed my head and..."

Willow: "Buffy!!! Please, I don't need to hear that..."

There are still some attractive characters that, to my knowledge, Buffy hasn't been shipped with... yet. We'll start with Wes...

Buffy: "Huh?!!"

Cordy: "I get shipped with him a lot."

Buffy: "Yeah, but you were sort of involved with him."

Cordy: "You wouldn't like him. He's a terrible kisser."

Willow: "Buffy does like the smootchies."

Faith: "And she's one hell of a kisser..."

Cordy: "Didn't she just win an award for it?"

Faith: "Well, maybe it can be one of those redemption things... Y'know, she teaches him to be this really cool lover, or something..."

Tara: She IS a great teacher...."

Faith: Hey, that's right! B liplocked with Tara in a Willow/Tara fic! How'd you manage that?"

Buffy: "Just lucky, I guess..."

Which brings us to our next possibility, Tara...

Tara: "Oh!" (Smiles) "OK!"

Willow: "Eep!"

Of course, any B/T fic has to respect both their relationships with Willow...

Faith: "Why?!!!"

Because, Tara fans really like Willow. There are some possibilities to explore, here...

Willow: "Do they involve me?"

Of course. For example, perhaps Tara is there to be a nurturing primal goddess figure to balance Buffy's destructive primal goddess figure...

Dru: "The witch is collecting goddesses... The Earth will shake..."

Cordy: "Yeah, yeah, she does that shy act all the girls fall for..."

Then, there's, once we get her de-ratted, Amy...

Buffy: "Yeah! Then I can have three witches, and they'll all have different hair colors! I'll have a full set!"

Let's see, who do we have left... There's Graham...

Buffy: "Um, one soldier boy is enough, thanks."

And Darla...

Cordy: "Oh! I know! She can, like, try to get revenge on Angel by seducing Buffy, but then, she, y'know, falls for her, the way all the vamps do, and then she does that whole dark, romantic, angst, routine..."

Dru: "NOOOO!!! She... she..." (Collapses, twitching...)

Willow: "Now, look what you did..."

Buffy: "Dru... Dru, your nails are cutting into your skin..."

Tara: "C'mon, Dru, just take deep breaths..."

Willow: "Um, Tara, Dru's a vampire. She doesn't breathe..."

Tara: "Oh yeah, right..."

And finally, Harmony...

Buffy: "Ewww."

Willow: "I figured she would have tracked down Cordelia, by now."

Cordy: "I thought she was hot for you, actually."

Willow: "Me?!!!"

Buffy: "Well, she DID mark you..."

Willow: "Um, explanation, please?"

Buffy: "OK, something I learned from all those fics with Angel and Spike is when a vampire bites you, a little of them gets in your bloodstream, and you're sort of their territory..."

Dru: "Yes, it's true."

Willow: "Eww! Ick! Yuck!"

Buffy: "But she'll have to go through me."

Cordy: "Didn't you kind of mark her, yourself?"

Buffy: "What do you mean?"

Tara: "Cordelia..."

Buffy: "When the Primal Slayer bit her and drained her, wasn't that a part of you?"

Faith: "Cool!!! Does that mean she's my territory, too?"

Tara: "STOP IT!!!! NOW!!!!"

Faith: "Whoa..."

Buffy: "Willow, it was just a dream..."

Willow: "OK...?"

Buffy: "And that wasn't a part of me, OK?"

Willow: "OK..."

Cordelia: "Yeah, whatever..."

Faith: "So, tell me more about this Primal Slayer dream thing..."

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