A step in the right direction

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Gods I Want Her


Kathryn Merteuil

Disclaimer :

The characters used are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB, Fox and probably some other people. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Spoilers :

None. Put it where you want in the series.

Notes :

Just a quickie. You decide for yourself who it might be.

Feedback :

Yes please.

Rating :


Gods I want her. Have done since I first set my eyes on her. Lithe body, long soft hair, ultimately kissable mouth, perfect breasts. How could I not?

I never felt like this about any one before. Not a girl woman. Not a boy. Not a man.

No-one’s come close to how I feel about her, not even

There she is. Just walked in. Wow, she looks good. Every fibre of my being wants to fly to her.

But I sit here. At the table.

I want her. I want to feel her against me. I need to be with her. I ache to feel my hands on her skin, her hands on mine. Face to face, mouth to mouth, kiss to kiss.

She’s seen me. She waves. I wave back. Gods she’s beautiful.

Why can’t I tell her? I love her. I want to tell her. I know why. I’m scared. She doesn’t know how I feel, she can’t.

She’s coming over. I’ve memorised every motion of her as she walks. Every step. Every tilt of her shoulder. Every movement of her hip. Every bounce and flick of her hair. Some people seem to move to a beat, rock or soul or waltz. She is a symphony as she walks, every step an opus of passion in my heart

"Hi", I love her voice.

"Hi", I can’t even look in her eyes for fear of drowning in them. Why can’t I tell her I love her? I know why. What if she says "No"? She couldn’t be interested in me.

She turns towards the bar. I want to be with her. I want to love her. Face to face. Breast to breast. Lips to lips. I want to kiss her. I want to explore her. Find out what brings her to fulfilment. Fulfil and be fulfilled.

Sometimes, in the shower, I dream that the hands moving over my body are hers. That she is the hand between my legs, moving, teasing, broaching, circling, pushing, teasing, satisfying the ache in my body and soul. I want to be with her, loving her, my hands moving, teasing, broaching, circling, pushing, teasing, satisfying. My mouth to her breast. Moving down in slow kisses. probing, moving, teasing, circling.

"I’m going to get a drink. Would you like anything?"


Thank the goddess I only thought that. I want to say it but I can’t. She could never be with me. she could never want me the way I want her.

"No thank you", I stare into my drink.

She walks to the bar. I love her. I can never tell her. Part of my soul dies.